Sunday, November 11, 2012

Dreams

It's been a month. I'm sorry!!! EEK. So bad at this.

Anyway, I hope everyone is enjoying their Autumn. I think I've mentioned before how much I LOVE this beautiful season. Simply beautiful and refreshing in the great state of North Carolina.

Today, I've been pondering my dreams and wishes. Recently, I was given some advice that if you just want a job you should just work at the Gap or Target (or a call center, heh), BUT if you want a career in something you're passionate about, you should pursue with NO reserves. Sigh. Friends, this makes me tear up. God made me with a passion for art and beauty, and helping others enjoy that. I can't explain to you how much I would love to be editing someone's photos this weekend. It's not from lack of desire that I haven't pursued this dream of mine. Perhaps it is lack of resolve or lack of confidence in my abilities. Either way, I'm tired of waiting around for someone to place a complete photography business in my lap, complete with clients and equipment. Not going to happen. Work must be done.

This is one of those things that the Lord will have to do completely. This is a dream that I have to give to Him. I do not want this for personal gain. I want this to glorify Him. This is my heart. I will keep you updated on how this starts shaping up ;)

Health Update: I've lost almost 40 lbs! woot! I feel really great and I haven't gotten sick this season (which is strange)!

ALSO- I'm moving in with my best friend in 5 days. SO. EXCITED. Also, we're getting a cat. His name is Banjo and he has green eyes. :D

Friday, October 12, 2012

Autumn Bliss

Hello friends! Once again, sorry for the hiatus :/

How bout an update on life? Yea ok. I'm about to move to a gorgeous, ginormous apartment in Briar Creek with my best friend!! I'm beyond excited about this and can't wait to entertain until we're super tired of it...you should all come to visit :) My parents are coming to spend Thanksgiving with me so that will be wonderful! Speaking of food....

I've recently started a great diet/lifestyle program called Grace & Strength. It's pretty extreme and difficult, but it's working :) As of this morning I've lost 19 lbs! I can already tell that I'm starting to understand how I deal with food and what to do about it. I'm sure I'll be sharing more about this in the future!

Somewhat related...going to the State Fair this weekend!! I pretty much can't eat anything there...so prayer for that would be great haha. I can still ride rides and look at crafts :)

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Ch..ch..ch..ch..changes!

First off the Color Run was spectatcular. Just take a look at this picture if you don't believe me:

Ridiculous amounts of fun were had. We lined up on Sunday morning, along with thousands of other people dressed in cripy, clean white shirts. Our wave was released around 9:20a or so. I started out jogging and my new friend Karisse ran with me, bless her heart :). After about 3 or 4 min. I had to stop because my body said no. I walked and walked and my wonderful friends were waiting for me at the top of hill. During that walk, I decided I had to make a choice. My body was not going to do what I wanted it to do, which was jog and run and like it. So, I could either be really upset about that, or I could just get over it and enjoy the color. I chose the latter and we had an amazing time. We danced our way through each color zone. Orange, by far, had the best color throwers :)We stopped to take pictures. It was grand. We finished in just under an hour, which was actually my goal. Then we had a big party of color. So fun.

While I was there with my friend Megan and one of her closest friends from college, Karisse, I listened as they each celebrated their newly healthy bodies. I must admit I was jealous, but extremely happy and proud for each of them. But it's something I wanted too. I want to be healthy, and I want to be able to do things that I can't right now. I don't want my knees to stop working, and they will if I don't make changes. Being totally honest here. Because of all this revelation, I'm beginning a new diet next week. Lots of radical changes in eating in the very near future. It's going to be VERY hard, but I'm ready. I'm excited about this program because it's going to deal with the whys of overeating and what to do about that, and how the Gospel answers those deep soul questions. And don't worry, I will keep you updated...hopefully with more pictures :)

Here's my pre-race photo:


Friday, September 7, 2012

Ugly Colorful Pride

Thought it was time for an update. I was right. First of all, NYC was incredible, and I can't wait to go back. I enjoyed the trip with my 2 best friends. So great. Our first day there we hopped on the subway from Brooklyn into Manhattan and both my friends commented on how my face was completely lit up. Words can't express how much that city means to me. Anywho, on to other things :)
On Sunday, I'm "running" in the Color Run in D.C. with some good friends. For the last few months, I was supposed to be training for this. Some where in the middle, my knees got mad at me and then I came up with a few more excuses. I always have excuses. What has this lead to? Me not being able to run very far...at. all. Sad, I know. You may say, but Jenny, this is just the Color Run...it's supposed to be fun. And you're right. It is, and it will be. It's not even timed. My friends have all told me not to worry. We're gonna take our time and just have fun. Okay. But I know myself, and if you know me well, you know that I'm not okay with this.
I'm full of pride and self pity (which is more pride by the way). I want to be able to run and run well and get color thrown on me while running. Sounds ridiculous as I type it out. But it's true. What does this say about my heart? It says that I expect perfection of myself. This perfection just isn't possible. Because I'm human.
When I hit this point I should be calling on the Lord to drive me through. Is this what I do? Of course not, because that would require asking for help, and admitting that I can't do it. Ick. So ugly. Inadvertently, this is like telling Christ that His grace and love and mercy and goodness and forgiveness, all of that, isn't good enough for me. That it's not enough for me. Not truth. So, what is the truth?

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. - 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

So, I'm trying to boast in my weakness. Look how badly I run!! Lol. I'm just kidding, but really. I need help in this area. I pray for myself that my heart is turned toward His grace and power, and not toward my own pride and measley accomplishment.

I'm promising you all that I will have fun. I'll take pictures to prove it. :)

Monday, July 16, 2012

New York Pipe Dreams

I leave to visit the great city of New York in 3 days. I can't begin to express how excited I am. My heart has been pulled there for some time now. I'll get to share and experience this great city again, this time with my 2 best friends. I'm hoping and praying that this time will be filled with encouragement and fun. I have no doubts in fact, that it will be.
I still have dreams to live in this great city and share Jesus with those I come across. Why NYC? This city could arguably be the most influential city in the world. The culture, especially American culture, flows from it. What better place to be a light and influence? I have no doubt that the Lord has placed this city on my heart. I still don't know what that means for my future. Do I hope to end up there one day? More than anything!
I ask for your prayers this week. Pray that I will guard my heart against covetousness. Pray that I will be satisfied in Christ alone and that I do not have to live in this city to make a difference. Pray that I will be challenged in my calling and also reaffirmed in it. Pray that I will pray for the people of the city. I will have an awesome update when I return! Until then, for your viewing pleasure:



This is me in Central Park, the last time I visited in Fall of 2010. :)

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Dare

I'm being dared by the Savior, Creator of the world to fall madly in love. In fact, his dare is so powerful he doesn't have to triple dog dare me. No, it's a simple, "hey, try me." with the head nod and all. At least, that's what I picture. My heart is SO distracted by menial worldly things. I'm borrowing this quote from a phenomenal blog post that resulted in this outpouring. Check it out here.
Here's the quote:
“I am going to drown in this sucky place of never getting what I long for. You keep saying these things about abundant life … whatever that is, I don’t have it. There’s more to You. If it is true and You mean it, then BE IT. If there isn’t, then You lied and I am screwed. So. Here goes, God. I am going to fast all other pleasures to see if YOU, God, can become my all-time, all-consuming pleasure. I am tired of this life and what it pretends to have. I want the REAL. Will You be my Lover, Lord???”

Am I desperate enough to do this? Yea, I think so. Why? Because all of those so-called pleasures of the world are not actually pleasurable. Sure, I could keep lying to myself and pretend that this over here will keep me occupied for a few days and I might feel a sense of belonging and loving. But it pales in comparison to the "all-consuming pleasure of God.

Paul seems to put this in perspective: They will be … “lovers of pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. … They are the kind of people who work their way into peoples homes and win the confidence of vulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires. Such women are forever following new teachings, but they are never able to understand the truth” (2 Tim. 3:4-7).
I don't know about you, but that verse scares me. Outward behavior can only last so long. The heart catches up and reveals who we really are, what we really love. So just saying no to those worldly pleasures, doesn't really work. I know this first hand. Yes, we put off, but then we MUST put ON.

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11

He is enough. More than enough in fact. Much more than I could ever hope to handle. Oh that I would be consumed. Pray that I'll take the challenge of the Dare. I hope you do too.

Love always.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

ScriptureDoodle

Happy Thursday!

Update on the letter: I must tell you that I have not written my letter. I feel I must apologize, because I told all of you I would write it last weekend and it just didn't happen. The goal is Saturday. I know once I sit down the words and thoughts will flow. Perhaps I will share a snippit once it is written.

In other news, I saw something today on Instagram, a challenge if you will. One of my distant friends, Julie Plunk had posted a #scripturedoodle. I was intrigued. It was guided by a letter of the day and corresponding verses and of course doodling. After some investigating I found the origin here .
The basics of Scripture Doodling combine meditating on Scripture while using the wonderful skill of doodling. This sounded wonderful to me. I know the plan on the main website actually started a few days ago, but I think I'm going to start on July 1st with the letter A. I'll be sharing my creations on Instagram, username Jennybar17.

Health update: Eek is all I have to say. Well, not really. I go to the nutrionist tomorrow after a 5 week stint of doing this on my own. It has not gone well. There were several days where I just ate what I wanted, and the majority of the days I did not track my food. Exercise has been on track, however the past 2 weeks have kicked my tail. Last night I laid on my living room floor and told my roommate that I didn't think I'd be able to run the whole thing by September. Tiffany was encouraging and said that I should just do the best that I can and that is enough, but she also said to keep my goal in mind. I can do that.

Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely day. Mine is filled with a 9 hr. workday, trip to Target for new doodle pens :) and a massage!

Love always.